Within the past few days I've started having those thoughts of..."This will be the last time (fill in the blank) in El Paso." It really hit me today as I was driving across town to pick up some supplies for VBS. I'm on the schedule to sing my LAST solo at FBCep on July 4th, which will be my LAST Sunday on staff at FBCep.
As I was singing through one of the songs I'm thinking about doing, I started imagining the faces of people that I may be singing in front of that day for the LAST time. The faces of people who have become like my family here in El Paso. The faces of people who have loved on my children. The faces of people who have been so encouraging and giving to me as a staff member.
I remember singing here for the first time in 2007 and coming home to post about my first solo here. You can read the post here and now that I am looking at it, I typed the name of the song incorrectly. Singing that first time to a room full of strangers, for lack of a better word, reminded me of all the friendly faces that I had come to love at FBC Fort Mill. Now that we're preparing to move away from El Paso, those faces are no longer the faces of strangers. These are people that I love and admire.
Every time I have sung in the past year and a half has been an emotional thing for me. I sang a song by Andrew Peterson while I was pregnant called "Labor of Love." Talk about hard - - singing a song about the mother of Jesus knowing that I would be alone giving birth to my 3rd child while my husband was in Iraq! A couple of months later, I sang a Sandi Patty song called "God of All of Me" just weeks before I would be bidding farewell to my husband for 12 months!
Singing one last time here will be an emotional thing for sure! I may just have to sing "Happy Trails" or something light hearted and non emotional. I know that I'm not singing for these people. I'm singing for my Savior. I'm singing to bring praise and glory to Him and I think that's why singing has become so emotional for me in the past few years. I want to sing songs that mean something to me, songs that are personal, but sometimes personal songs mixed with emotions brought on by other circumstances can put me over the edge.
I've tried to bury this whole moving thing, but practicing a song to sing as my LAST one has uncovered the well of emotions! I'll just have to go back into denial about this whole move thing and not practice until I absolutely have to.
1 comment:
Jen I have had to do what you will do in a few short weeks and it is very hard but our Lord will give you strenght. The best thing about moving around is the opportunity of meetig new and different people. You develop those precious relationships with those people that will last a life time. It will be hard to leave but think about all the new adventures and relationships God has in store for you in the next move and the the next. I love you and I am praying for strength as you face the days ahead.
Love
GG
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