I woke up yesterday morning, read a comment on the Army Wife Network on FB and couldn't get the comment off of my mind. For much of the morning, I tried to figure out how I could blog my response to this person's asinine comment! It struck a specific nerve with me because the commenter was making herself the victim because she's the wife of an enlisted soldier.
The question on Army Wife Network's wall was "Where do you get your hair done?" and responders were to tell their installation, salon name and town where it's located. Most did exactly that, except for the one in the group that said something about enlisted wives not being able to have the same luxuries as officer wives.
I don't know this person at all. I was just struck by this tension that can some times exist, mostly imaginary, simply because someone's husband is enlisted vs. officer. My husband is an officer and that's all I've ever known. I would never say that we live a 'luxurious' life because we don't! We wouldn't even if funds allowed. However, we've made wise choices in how we use the income that we have each month.
So my response to this comment is that it has nothing to do with enlisted vs. officer. It has everything to do with the choices you make in how you spend the money that comes in each month. It has everything to do with what you do with the extra money that comes as a result of a deployment. It has everything to do with looking at your expenses and deciding what's really important to you. We find the money and way to get the things that are important to us. If it's getting your hair done in a salon vs paying for Showtime, HBO and Cinemax on your cable each month, you'll choose the one that's most important to you.
Our family chooses to tithe each month, which is 10% of our income to our local church! There's alot more 'fun' and 'worldly' things we could do with that 10%, but we trust the wisdom of God and His ability to provide all of our needs each month. I coupon and save us a good bit on groceries each month so that we can enjoy a couple of meals out each week and a salon highlight every other month or so. When Cpt was deployed last year, we saved part of our extra deployment money and used the other part to pay off student loans. We could've sunk it all into a new car, but that wasn't the best long term investment for our family.
I guess I took offense to this person's statement because it generalized that officer wives have such a good and luxurious life when that couldn't be further from the truth. We face alot of the same things that enlisted wives do and have to make choices just like enlisted wives. Some of my best friends are enlisted wives. With us, it doesn't matter what our husbands' ranks are. Rank isn't something to be flaunted or to use as a crutch for our issues. It only determines pay and job responsibility.
The question on Army Wife Network's wall was "Where do you get your hair done?" and responders were to tell their installation, salon name and town where it's located. Most did exactly that, except for the one in the group that said something about enlisted wives not being able to have the same luxuries as officer wives.
I don't know this person at all. I was just struck by this tension that can some times exist, mostly imaginary, simply because someone's husband is enlisted vs. officer. My husband is an officer and that's all I've ever known. I would never say that we live a 'luxurious' life because we don't! We wouldn't even if funds allowed. However, we've made wise choices in how we use the income that we have each month.
So my response to this comment is that it has nothing to do with enlisted vs. officer. It has everything to do with the choices you make in how you spend the money that comes in each month. It has everything to do with what you do with the extra money that comes as a result of a deployment. It has everything to do with looking at your expenses and deciding what's really important to you. We find the money and way to get the things that are important to us. If it's getting your hair done in a salon vs paying for Showtime, HBO and Cinemax on your cable each month, you'll choose the one that's most important to you.
Our family chooses to tithe each month, which is 10% of our income to our local church! There's alot more 'fun' and 'worldly' things we could do with that 10%, but we trust the wisdom of God and His ability to provide all of our needs each month. I coupon and save us a good bit on groceries each month so that we can enjoy a couple of meals out each week and a salon highlight every other month or so. When Cpt was deployed last year, we saved part of our extra deployment money and used the other part to pay off student loans. We could've sunk it all into a new car, but that wasn't the best long term investment for our family.
I guess I took offense to this person's statement because it generalized that officer wives have such a good and luxurious life when that couldn't be further from the truth. We face alot of the same things that enlisted wives do and have to make choices just like enlisted wives. Some of my best friends are enlisted wives. With us, it doesn't matter what our husbands' ranks are. Rank isn't something to be flaunted or to use as a crutch for our issues. It only determines pay and job responsibility.
I found it just like the Lord that yesterday my internet went down all day and I read a passage from Proverbs 4:5-9 that talks about getting Wisdom, prizing Wisdom, and embracing Wisdom. The result will be being kept, being honored, having a graceful garland wrapped on you and a beautiful crown. As I was in a tizzy about this person's comment, I found this great application for me. I needed to be wise in how I addressed this and I need to remember that making wise choices is ultimately what is best for me and my family. I also needed time to let my jets cool!
1 comment:
Jen,
I've not read anything truer in a long time, and I read a lot. Well said. You should consider writing devotions or similar for others to benefit from. Thanks for sharing!
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